checking in....

I must apologize for my neglect of this space for the past few weeks. I have been feeling less focused and sometimes completely uninspired and I am not sure how to convey those feelings. I am not used to expressing the negative. I am an expert at smoothing things over, finding the positive in any situation or making it appear that everything is alright but the truth is that most of the time that is like icing over a big bowl of…well, you know.

I am sure that this is yet another period of transformation for me. Those are never easy. I am not sure who I will be when I make it back, or if ‘back’ is an illusion because there is only forward, but nevertheless, something is about to break. Hope it’s not my back.

I had an amazing talk with my Dad and Mom last week and the consensus was that I do not feel worthy. My ego wants to argue, because he is the one who would ice over that, but that is the truth. The reason I have been drawn to the area of Self-Worth is because I need some.

I read a column the next day that Oprah wrote about what she knows for sure about body image and in it was a quote from a letter that Marianne Williamson wrote to her sixteen years ago. I knew it was what I needed to hear because tears sprang to my eyes. Here is the quote:

"Until you accept the magnitude of your function, your unconscious mind will sabotage any attempt to show your full magnificence. In fact, if you diet and lose weight, your mind will either put the weight back on or trip up in some other area. In order to lose weight on a permanent basis, you want a shift in your belief about who and what you are. This is the miracle you seek."

You can read the entire column here: http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200806_omag_mission

So my mission is to accept the magnitude of my function. I am looking for opportunities to do that and for new ways that my spirit is speaking me. If anyone has any suggestions or comments, bring em on!

I am starting with a course on Connecting with My Higher Self that begins tomorrow night. If you are in the St.John’s area and would like more info go to www.lifeonfire.ca

I will keep you posted on every twist and turn of this journey so wish me enlightenment, luck has nothing to do with it!

Alison

listening

Watching my father take on a triple bypass has changed me. I am not sure exactly how but I do know that nothing is the same. My endless ability to put things off is not working anymore; my lack of solid commitment in certain areas is not working anymore and the fantasy idea that I have all the time in the world to get myself sorted is most definitely not working anymore. But honestly, I feel a tad overwhelmed. Where does one start when they want to make huge changes? Where does one find peace, courage, commitment, perseverance? As I write this I know it is within. I know I must get silent and I know I must push past the voice of the ego and listen for the voice of inspiration. Sshhhhh……

The universe is reaching out to me in mysterious ways and trying to figure out what I need to do is driving me a little crazy. That is part of the reason for the delay in writing here. Not really knowing what to say. It seems that circumstances are presenting themselves that will enable me to concentrate on myself, something I find very hard to do. Give me your problem and I will help you solve it, give me your pain and I will help soothe it, give me your fear and I will help you gather courage but faced with my own life I become paralyzed as if expressing what I need to will kill me. Man, that damn ego is one powerful piece of work.

I am praying for guidance, if you have some, let me know.

Love

Alison

Ch ch ch ch changes……..

I don’t know about you but for me this time of year is one of the most motivating. Something about the kids going back to school, the temps cooling down and the feeling of getting ready for something (not sure what??) that spurns me to action.

Maybe I am getting ready to live a healthier life, maybe I am getting ready to make the perfect amount of money, maybe I am getting ready to greet the partner that is making his way to me. ….or maybe all of those.

The important thing for me to remember and maybe you too, is that getting ready does not mean standing still. It means preparing. It means taking advantage of opportunities. It means being present in each moment so that I can see the opportunities as they arise…it means taking action, and most of the time taking action produces change. In the areas I mentioned above, change is most welcome!

If you are reading this and you feel like you too are getting ready then I have some opportunities that you might be interested in. First, The WORTH Program is starting again on September 17 with some revised content that promises to be incredibly inspiring! This year we are looking more closely at how our beliefs affect our reality and how we can change the ones that don’t serve us. We will also be tackling procrastination, cultivating self-discipline and learning how to identify the ego, as well as other great topics that are designed to have you realize a high sense of self-worth. For more info or to register email me or visit www.lifeonfire.ca

Second, Life on Fire is offering many courses that help you put the Law of Attraction to work in your life. The topics and discussion allow a greater understanding of how we are creating our lives and how to deliberately create what we want. Some courses are ongoing and work on a drop-in basis, the next Law of Attraction Workshop is September 13^th, details and registration info is on their website mentioned above.

If you are looking for a way to start your week powerfully then tune into The Self WORTH Show at www.blogtalkradio.com/AlisonS every Monday at 8pm NL time, that’s 6:30 eastern(NY ) time. We discuss many inspirational topics of interest with like minded people and it’s a call in show so listen for the number and give me a ring to take part. This Monday: How to Recognize and Change Our Disempowering Beliefs.

Lastly, the Gaining Health Group is back in September after a few weeks of down time. Meetings resume on the 16^th and if you would like to join the group simply drop me an email to register. This is an incredible opportunity to see how support and a plan can positively impact your health

I am sure these are not the only opportunities that will fall into your lap while you are getting ready for some changes of your own, but they are an excellent way to get into action and create something wonderful for your life this fall. Drop me a line or comment on any of my posts and let me know what opportunities you are creating and taking advantage of, I would love to hear from you!

Alison

Strength.....

I watched a dear friend watch her Mom pass away this week and marveled at her strength. It didn’t appear as hard or tough or stoic or convicted, it appeared as grace. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
Speaking with her the day her Mom passed away she said that her spiritual practice and journey had been preparing her for this moment. So true.
I have often said when coaching or presenting that ‘life is easy when it is easy’. Most of what I teach has nothing to do with easy. It is about finding out what you are made of in the challenging times.
Watching my friend’s remarkable ability to simple ‘be with’ her Mom as she passed from this life to the next was a gift. Most of us are very uncomfortable with death; we need to constantly distract ourselves from what is really going on. What I witnessed this week was the payoff of becoming self-aware, letting go of judgment, being accepting, and truly connecting with the people you love.
Creating a life based on spiritual principal’s means we get to be present to everything that is happening; we get to ‘be with’ people on a level that is rarely seen, even when they are healthy and available. These ways of being ultimately enhance our life experience by enabling us to take part fully in every moment, by providing us comfort when we grieve and like my friend, being able to be a part of your Mom’s passing and “have no regrets”.

My wise and wonderful friend found it interesting that each person took her Mom’s death and made it mean what they needed it to. I guess we are all looking for meaning in life and ironically death can provide huge meaning.
For me, I am making this mean that life is incredibly precious, that death is natural and can be graceful and beautiful and that every opportunity to connect with friends and family is a gift and an honour, things that as I grow and witness more frequently the cycle of life and death, I take less and less lightly.
Much Love,
Alison

such a tiny word, such a huge impact....

Want an empowering way to take care of yourself? Would you like something that commands respect, staves off intimidation, enables time for your passions, makes resentment disappear, nurtures your self-worth, your body, your time, your health, your life and your soul?

It is the word “no”. Inside this tiny little word lay a million possibilities.

When I use this word too little something remarkable happens. I enter a cycle of self-destruction. See if you recognize this cycle: First I will agree to something that takes away from my time, my peace of mind, my money or my health, then I realize, by doing the agreed upon task, that I have put myself in jeopardy. Then I resent the person or people involved, usually the one who asked in the first place. Then I engage in some form of self-destructive behaviour because I am not really mad at them at all. I am really mad at me, and instead of facing that fact, I act it out. While I am acting, my ego is having a field day telling me how wrong they are and how they should be able to see what I need without me telling them and that they are inconsiderate and that I would never do that to them….sounds like a whiny, crying, baby, victim doesn’t it?

Because it is.

We teach people how to treat us and every time we say ‘yes’ when we really mean ‘no’ we teach them that their time, energy, talent, peace of mind etc, is more important than ours. When my actions and thoughts are out of alignment with my spirit I feel bad. And living with the consequences of too many yeses and not enough no’s definitely feels bad.

Now, the good news. Yesterday when I was knee deep in that cycle I saw it. As I searched for something unhealthy to eat, I found instead the insight to see what I had created. The cravings went away, the inner anger started to dissipate and I remembered that my happiness depends on me, not on what anyone else does or doesn’t do, just me.

Awesome!

Alison

the magic in the mountain...

On Friday past myself and two other amazing women set out to conquer the Signal Hill Hiking Trail and after hundreds of steps, tons of catch-our-breath breaks and an untold amount of empowering self-talk whispers, we did it. Not only did we conquer the mountain but we conquered all the crap in our heads about not being able to do it, talk about a wicked payback!

The hike itself took almost 2 hours, but the effects have lasted ever since. The feeling of accomplishment from taking something on, even and maybe especially, when you have no idea if you can do it, is incredible!

What if we lived our lives from there? Grasping each opportunity as if it were possible even when we didn't have a clue...what kind of life would that create?
I am pretty sure that when the Wright Bros. took to the air the first time they had no idea how it was going to play out, and what about Bill Gates, do you think he had any idea what he was creating when he started Microsoft?

Sure, like anything you do that feeds your soul, it will feel amazing, you will be empowered and you may possibly know that something incredible is being created but you probably will not know what.

Just like my mountain...conquering it inspires the hell out of me, makes me want to go back and do it again and leaves me with the taste of possibility and what it feels like to be limitless on my lips...a taste I can't get enough of these days.

That's the real magic in the mountain, that in each step I can hear the walls falling, the call of my best life, the idea that I can do ANYTHING.

And I can...

with much Love,
Alison

What do you really, really, really want?