Monday, May 26, 2008

When the student is ready....

If an opportunity comes down the pipe does it mean it should be taken? I mean, there have been times in my life when I have had the opportunity to do some pretty crazy things, and thank God I choose not to or I might be writing this from a comfy little cell on D Block!

What I am trying to get at is that opportunity abounds, but how do we know when to bite? The transformed answer that keeps coming to mind is ‘trust your gut’ but when faced with a major life decision is it that easy to hear your intuition? For me it is not that clear. I understand the ego that tries hard to run the show inside my head so I have to make sure that I am not deciding my life from there. That might seem pretty clear but unfortunately my ego is elusive and wears many disguises and therefore requires thorough examination…for that I need an unbiased observer.

There is no doubt that when I am trying to make a decision that doesn’t come easy one of the best things I can do is to share the making of it with family and friends. Yes, it is ultimately up to me and sometimes I go against everyone’s advice anyway, but it helps a whole lot to see the dilemma from the eyes of those who care about me. Sometimes that is all the clarity I need - sometimes not.

Today I am faced with deciding if I should trade a lot of my time and talent for money. The reason this is hard is because I don’t want to feel like I am doing something only for money. It goes against the grain for me, but, and it’s a big but, is struggling for money more of a spiritual state than not?

If I was coaching a client or a friend here I would ask if this opportunity has presented itself before, CHECK, if it is something I think they would be successful doing, CHECK, and if it is an opportunity that would enhance the quality of their lives, CHECK. Then I would tell them that life presents opportunities as teachers and if we weren’t ready to learn something valuable the opportunity would simply not be there. There is my answer….take my own advice.

Love and Endless Opportunities to you all!


Friday, May 9, 2008

taking things personally.....

One of the Four Agreements, in the book of the same name by Don Miguel Ruiz, is to not take anything personally. Although in theory this makes a huge amount of sense in practice it can be really hard. It is a concept that I have to consistently work on in order to be able to pull off. Mainly because when things go weird with friends, family or any relationship really, one can’t help but ask themselves, ‘where did I go wrong?’ - Which is taking it personally. I love the aforementioned book (thanks Dad, xo) because it explains why taking anything personally is such a waste of time and energy. It seems that when people don’t like themselves or when they continually lie to themselves, they project that stuff outwards, usually onto the people who are the closest to them. In reality I guess nothing that anyone does is about anyone else but themselves. I mean whatever I have going on inside me is definitely going to be reflected outside me, within my relationships for sure. Even if someone outright insults me, the only reason I would take it personally, according to Don Miguel, is if somewhere inside me I agree with the insult. That sentence alone gives me great comfort. Because I get it, I get that not everyone feels like talking all the time, and that’s not about me. I get that people don’t have to share what is inside them just because I am sharing, again not about me. But here is where its gets a little tricky. I have become, after many years of self-examination, a voice of truth. I simply can no longer have conversations that are not dealing with what is really going on. I don’t mean that I accost strangers with grandiose notions of spiritual perfection or anything like that, but with the people I love and hang out with, we talk about reality. I love communicating this way because we connect on really deep levels, we support each other and there is a collective sigh of relief when we don’t feel we have to hide our true selves from each other. So….. I get it that not everyone is ready for the conversation of truth, and if they are, maybe not all of the time. And I get it without a shadow of a doubt that someone else being ready for truth or not, is most definitely not about me. Whew!

Happy Friday Beautiful People!


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Baby Steps

Here is why they work: because they get you quietly from where you are now to where you want to be. The reason that quietly matters is because you accomplish your goals without engaging the ego and without putting huge pressure on yourself. I’m not saying that a bit of pressure can’t be a good thing because it certainly can. I mean without feeling a bit squeezed we wouldn’t initiate change at all would we? But I am talking about the kind of pressure that overwhelms us, the kind that makes us think we will never get where we want to be and so therefore throwing in the towel is looking like a really good idea…that kind of pressure.

My ego has always screamed the loudest when I have decided that I need to set goals, follow a plan and take action. Or in other words, whenever I have tried to change anything. I have the kind of personality that hates to be dominated by things like, a healthy eating plan, an exercise plan, a budget, a deadline, etc. And my ego tries to ensure that that pattern continues by feeding me a constant diet of garbage about the suspected culprit. The truth, which I see when I stop and remember that I am in charge of what happens in my life, is that none of these things, plans, goals, budgets, are ‘out to get me’ as my ego would have me believe. In fact, they are sensible tools that if used effectively can lead me from where I am now to where I want to be….so…..back to baby steps.

Today I will take the first step of setting a goal in an area of my life that is not working as well as I would like it to – my weight. Then tomorrow I will take the step of preparing an action plan that sets me up powerfully to succeed. Then I will act, consistently and effectively, with periodic evaluations to ensure that I am meeting my goals…there…that should do it.

I will keep you posted…no pun intended : )

Love and Inspiration to you!


p.s. I am wondering where motivation comes from and more precisely, where it goes when we need it! I’ll write more about that in the future. In the meantime any ideas on the topic would be greatly appreciated!

Friday, May 2, 2008

The Power of Connection

One of my favorite topics to speak about, and the theme for the last night of the WORTH Program the other day, is The Power of Connection. For me, and hopefully those listening, it is a reminder of the fact that we are all one; each of us just a blob of continuous energy floating around this expansive universe interacting with all the other blobs. Try it for a second, close your eyes and picture yourself as a blob of cellular energy. Cool eh? If we look at our lives from here, our differences are completely unimportant. In fact, they disappear altogether. What would the world be like if we focused on how we are the same rather than how we are different?

The cool thing about that thought is that we can do it now, today, this moment. We can set an intention to focus only on the ways we are the same as every other person we come into contact with. Sounds like an interesting and fun experiment doesn’t it? And if you take it on please write and let me know what it opens up for you. For me, I went from focusing on resentment to focusing on love, from noticing what is ‘wrong’ with someone to completely letting it go, from wanting what someone else had to being completely content with myself.
Powerful stuff eh?

I think I may be on to something big…….can’t wait to see what happens!

Happy Friday Beautiful People!