Friday, May 9, 2008

taking things personally.....

One of the Four Agreements, in the book of the same name by Don Miguel Ruiz, is to not take anything personally. Although in theory this makes a huge amount of sense in practice it can be really hard. It is a concept that I have to consistently work on in order to be able to pull off. Mainly because when things go weird with friends, family or any relationship really, one can’t help but ask themselves, ‘where did I go wrong?’ - Which is taking it personally. I love the aforementioned book (thanks Dad, xo) because it explains why taking anything personally is such a waste of time and energy. It seems that when people don’t like themselves or when they continually lie to themselves, they project that stuff outwards, usually onto the people who are the closest to them. In reality I guess nothing that anyone does is about anyone else but themselves. I mean whatever I have going on inside me is definitely going to be reflected outside me, within my relationships for sure. Even if someone outright insults me, the only reason I would take it personally, according to Don Miguel, is if somewhere inside me I agree with the insult. That sentence alone gives me great comfort. Because I get it, I get that not everyone feels like talking all the time, and that’s not about me. I get that people don’t have to share what is inside them just because I am sharing, again not about me. But here is where its gets a little tricky. I have become, after many years of self-examination, a voice of truth. I simply can no longer have conversations that are not dealing with what is really going on. I don’t mean that I accost strangers with grandiose notions of spiritual perfection or anything like that, but with the people I love and hang out with, we talk about reality. I love communicating this way because we connect on really deep levels, we support each other and there is a collective sigh of relief when we don’t feel we have to hide our true selves from each other. So….. I get it that not everyone is ready for the conversation of truth, and if they are, maybe not all of the time. And I get it without a shadow of a doubt that someone else being ready for truth or not, is most definitely not about me. Whew!

Happy Friday Beautiful People!

Alison

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