Sunday, June 22, 2008

much needed purge....

Maybe it’s getting older, maybe it’s peri-menopause or maybe it’s the Asian meal I had tonight around 9pm, but whatever it is, for the first time in ages, I can’t sleep. The clock is ticking towards 4am and I have a week’s worth of work to do tomorrow to catch up from a terrible cold that had me down for the count this week and I am yawning my damn fool head off, but I can’t seem to get anything going in the bed except frustration. So here I am tapping the keys in hopes that the act of purging myself might bring some peace and some z’s.

No doubt a spring cleaning might just be in order. Not the house though, the head.

I took on a rather scary project last week with the formation of a group designed to create powerful connections, accountability and results in the area of gaining health. This is my way of holding my own feet to the fire. I have probably mentioned somewhere in this blog that the most effective I have ever been is when I am helping others so with that in mind and realizing that I cannot hang onto this extra weight without serious health issues cropping up pretty soon, I started this group.

I am not afraid to speak to a group, I am not afraid to share my work, I am not afraid to assume the leadership role but I am afraid of failure, and that is probably what has me awake this morning. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know this is the best chance I have of making this monumental life change once and for all and I know that my willingness to take it on is not something to take lightly.

So I won’t. Because becoming a person who rigorously honors her commitments to herself means that my life will reflect the very definition of self-worth and from there, anything is possible.

Like the book says “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” …. isn't that how anything is accomplished? It's all scary. No matter what we take on, it more often than not scares the crap out of us but if we want change bad enough we do it despite the fear.

And I do....want change...bad!

Blessings Beautiful People...I am off to bed.


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