Monday, October 27, 2008

checking in....

I must apologize for my neglect of this space for the past few weeks. I have been feeling less focused and sometimes completely uninspired and I am not sure how to convey those feelings. I am not used to expressing the negative. I am an expert at smoothing things over, finding the positive in any situation or making it appear that everything is alright but the truth is that most of the time that is like icing over a big bowl of…well, you know.

I am sure that this is yet another period of transformation for me. Those are never easy. I am not sure who I will be when I make it back, or if ‘back’ is an illusion because there is only forward, but nevertheless, something is about to break. Hope it’s not my back.

I had an amazing talk with my Dad and Mom last week and the consensus was that I do not feel worthy. My ego wants to argue, because he is the one who would ice over that, but that is the truth. The reason I have been drawn to the area of Self-Worth is because I need some.

I read a column the next day that Oprah wrote about what she knows for sure about body image and in it was a quote from a letter that Marianne Williamson wrote to her sixteen years ago. I knew it was what I needed to hear because tears sprang to my eyes. Here is the quote:

"Until you accept the magnitude of your function, your unconscious mind will sabotage any attempt to show your full magnificence. In fact, if you diet and lose weight, your mind will either put the weight back on or trip up in some other area. In order to lose weight on a permanent basis, you want a shift in your belief about who and what you are. This is the miracle you seek."

You can read the entire column here: http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200806_omag_mission

So my mission is to accept the magnitude of my function. I am looking for opportunities to do that and for new ways that my spirit is speaking me. If anyone has any suggestions or comments, bring em on!

I am starting with a course on Connecting with My Higher Self that begins tomorrow night. If you are in the St.John’s area and would like more info go to www.lifeonfire.ca

I will keep you posted on every twist and turn of this journey so wish me enlightenment, luck has nothing to do with it!

Alison

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