Monday, April 13, 2009

my apology and other stuff..

I apologize for taking this space for granted.

I considered it for a long time to be a place for sharing positive thoughts and intentions and for helping others recognize their self worth. The trouble with that is it leaves no space here to share the challenges in my life, of which there are many.

I used to think that talking about my struggles made me weak. I now think that there is an enormous strength that springs from vulnerability, one I have yet to truly explore. So from now on this space will reflect all that is happening in my life as I realize that all my experience is valuable and in actuality I stand to learn way more from the struggles than the cake-walks anyway!

Last week I spoke with Dr.Robin on Oprah's XM Satellite radio channel. The subject was addiction. We spoke about transferring addiction from one substance to another and how, in my case, being clean from a substance does not mean I am addiction free. She advised me to look further into my background for the answers with a therapist so that is my project for today, contact and make an appointment with a therapist.

I am looking forward to getting to the bottom of this thing however I have to be honest and say that looking back is a slightly depressing thought. Probably because my ego thinks that I should have this pesky addiction thingy figured out by now and wants me to carry on moving forward without any answers, taking my addictive behaviour with me!

In any case, I have made the commitment and now I am doing it, no matter what. I promise to keep you abreast of my progess during this process, in hopes that you might also have something to learn from it .... as I surely do.

Much Love
Alison

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

well done alison! looking forward to seeing u progress.